


The Pop Tart Test

by inkbert



Series: we'll get there fast, and then we'll take it slow [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Female Friendship, Fluff, Humor, Science, Scientist Wrangler Darcy Lewis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 07:36:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7706050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkbert/pseuds/inkbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A 'Casa' one-shot.</p><p>The Pop Tart Test is shockingly accurate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pop Tart Test

Jane wakes with an idea already half-formed in her mind. That isn’t unusual, and she hashes it out as she tugs on a pair of pants she finds on the floor and one of Thor’s shirts hanging from the door knob. 

It’s cold at this altitude, and despite the fully functioning heating system, the floors stay icy. So she scans the messy floor for slippers to wear over her fuzzy socks. She can’t think with cold feet. 

She pulls one pig slipper out from under the bed by it’s curly tail, but can’t find the other. Or her shark slippers. The idea is really taking shape now, and she thinks she’s figured out what went wrong yesterday, and the day before, and last weekend, and her patience is running thin. The square shelf Darcy had Bucky install against the wall, where Jane is supposed to put her shoes, mocks her. 

Giving up, she shoves her other foot into one of Darcy’s floral patterned Doc Martens and calls that good.

In the kitchenette she brews coffee according to the directions Darcy had laminated and taped to the counter, and checks the time on the microwave. 3am. Not surprising, her sleep schedule has always been wonky, even as a child. It drove her parents nuts.

It’s better when Thor is around, but he’s been gone for seven days. 

After a second’s hesitation, she stops at the fridge. When Darcy wakes up, she’ll ask if Jane ate anything. And she’ll pester Jane until Jane does eat something. It’s better to just do it now, rather than be interrupted later.

There’s a to-go container neatly labelled ‘Ryan’, which either means they’ve gotten a new intern, or Jane has been mistakenly calling him Kyle for three weeks. The latter is more likely, and therefore, in apology, she doesn’t steal his food. Instead she takes the plastic container of strawberries and grabs a packet of pop tarts since Darcy insists Jane needs more grains.

In the lab, surrounded by the beeps and whirs of her machines coming to life, she munches on her breakfast while mapping out a quick plan to test her hypothesis. 

She’d ignore the pings on her desktop, except for the fact that the most recent one is a video, and she can see Thor in the preview image. Darcy had changed something on Jane’s ‘feed’ so that videos featuring Thor are filtered in. Or out. Or something, they just show up in a little box on Jane’s desktop. 

It’s a speech, not an interview. Jane is just the tiniest bit relieved. Recently interviewers had been on this kick of asking Thor questions about Jane. Apparently the general public, or at least the part of the public on the internet, loves when he rambles semi-poetically about Jane, and Thor is always happy to oblige.

He’d said something about how the ink on the side of her writing hand is the physical embodiment of her unflagging search for knowledge, a temporary stain which shows to him the very unseeable things that drew his heart to her. And then Jane had paparazzi following her around New York photographing her hands like they all had hand fetishes. 

Jane shakes off the memory of that horrible week, and tunes back in to the video. Thor’s in the cape and everything, and Clint is with him. That’s a small surprise. Jane is certain she heard Darcy and Natasha talking about how they weren’t allowed to do press together anymore. Ah, there’s Sam. He’s a good neutral force. 

She never would have thought it, after meeting him on the island. Apparently, as long as there isn’t a competition, he’s good. Every single game night though? Insane. It’s all good though. Jane had snagged him for her team during the next Avengers challenge. With his dedication and her grasp of complex game strategy, the others don’t stand a chance. Thor had already promised to take him out at the end, and as back up Jane had taken out a contract with Natasha. 

That crown is Jane’s. 

The video starts with a loud burst of different media reps yelling questions, and Jane rests her chin on her palm, eyes on the screen.

It’s a short speech. Thor is well-spoken, charming, and intelligent. Jane likes speeches if only for that. So often, interviewers choose to play up Thor’s good nature and small cultural misunderstandings. It was common up until a year ago to play him off as dumb, or perhaps just shallow.

It was Tony who had fixed it, appearing with Thor on NPR to talk about the future of technology. Tony had deflected almost every question to Thor, managing to be scandalous enough that the interview is still brought up and replayed. 

No one plays him off as stupid anymore, but people do seem to want to see more of his playful, light-hearted side. When Jane sees him on the Late Show racing shopping carts with Wanda, she sometimes has one of those moments where she can’t quite believe she’s dating someone like that.

When he rolls her chair away from her desk so she can blow out the candles on her birthday cupcakes, wearing matching plastic tiaras with Darcy, Jane has the same thought, only with a more grateful tone. 

Jane minimizes the video and finally settles into work. A couple hours later, she hears Darcy up and moving around. Music starts, something slow and jazzy. Morning music is always slow. 

It’s all background noise to Jane these days. She’s worked with Darcy for five years now, so she has no reaction to Darcy’s anguished wails when the fridge door opens. Jane knows Darcy’s wails, from stubbed her toe on the server bank again to scalded her tongue on coffee. This one is a no food wail, and can be ignored.

A little while later though, Jane can’t ignore the finger in her ear. “Darcy!” 

“You know the rules. I said your name three times.” Darcy looks over Jane’s shoulder at the computer screen and the tablet. “Is that what’s left of your breakfast? How long has it been since you ate?”

“Yep. Fruit and grains, like two hours ago, so don’t think you’re convincing me to go out. I ate a pop tart and all six of the strawberries that were in the box. Eat a pop tart, and I think there’s a banana over on the bookshelf.” Jane tries to hunch back over her tablet, but Darcy reaches in front of her, snagging the leftover pop tart which is missing one bite.

Darcy whacks it against the side of the desk. “Pop tart test says that’s a lie.”

“What?” Jane looks at the pop tart as Darcy tries to break a corner off with her teeth.

“Yep, my best guess is eight hours? Maybe nine?” Darcy nods towards the teddy bear perched up on top of the Christmas tree. “I mean, I can check the NannyBear’s camera. Plus, I know for a fact you only ate five strawberries.”

Jane stretches, managing to catch sight of the stupid bird clock that Clint had superglued to the wall when he’d come with Bucky to evaluate the security of the temporary lab. It chirps or sings on the hour, every hour. On the plus side, Jane can sometimes trick Darcy into thinking it’s earlier than it is by imitating the correct bird call, and get a few extra hours of lab time. 

It’s a quarter til one. Darcy’s pop tart test is shockingly accurate, she could be like a lab scene investigator or something. She’s also got the sniff test, for hygiene requirements, and the blood shot eye test, where she pulls Jane’s (or Tony’s) eyelid up with her thumb and gauges how long it’s been since they’ve slept. 

Jane would complain that’s going too far, but Darcy went on vacation two years ago and Jane saved her research to the wrong file and lost it, fell sleep on her telescope and ended up falling off and needing four stitches on her chin, and forgetting about the notes she’d taken on her arm until she was halfway through her shower. 

Darcy is the one that remembers to take pictures of their exposed skin before leaving the lab.

And Jane knows not to question Darcy’s methods, because like Jane’s own strange habits, they make sense to Darcy and they work. That’s why Jane doesn’t question her on the strawberries. Somehow, she’ll be right. Darcy just knows these things.

“Don’t check the camera. I guess we can get lunch, I’m stuck on this equation anyw- What? What do you see?” Jane leans back over her tablet, scanning it again. 

“I’m not telling until after lunch. I want eggplant sandwiches and sweet potato fries.” Darcy pulls the tablet out of Jane’s hands. “Did you see Thor in Sydney?”

“Yeah, I saw him.” Jane sighs, letting the science go for now. “And yes, he was rockin’ the cape. And yes, sweet potato fries do sound good.” 

Darcy grins, turning on the heels of Jane’s shark slippers and skipping away. “Perf. Go put on pants that don’t have a smashed strawberry on the butt.”


End file.
